CandC Family Blog

Another Family Day

2012-01-31T11:00:00.002-05:00

One year ago today I was sitting in my office at 10:00 am and got the call from my husband that there was a three month old baby girl that they needed to find a home for that day. They'd know for sure by noon but would we be willing to pick her up that day. It didn’t take long for us to agree that we were willing to take her. We agreed and by noon we knew that we were going to be getting another wonderful girl at 3:00 pm that day.

Luckily I had a car seat in my car that was a convertible for my other DD and I adjusted it so I could take her home. DH and I met at Social Services and I got there several minutes after him. I sat in the waiting room hearing this child screaming thinking I hope that's not her. It was, she cried for hours that day but then settled into the sling and took a nap and we all went out to dinner as a new family of five. It was funny to tell the dude that we got a baby on the way home from work. And my Miss M became a great big sister.

Charlie (baby D) was so sad that day and for days. She had a caregiver that had taken her home from the hospital and she had been with her every day for the last three months and she missed her terribly. It is hard to see a baby so young grieve a loss. We did get to see the lady one time two weeks later but then due to circumstances of being in foster care she wasn’t allowed to see her again. Her bio-mom did not want her visiting the lady. We will get to go see her again soon; it will be neat to see if they connect as easily as they did for the first visit. I do still keep her updated with pictures and calls. She loves to hear her milestones and misses her.

It was a flurry of activity that day, but proof that you don't need much when you take a baby home, food, diapers, car seat and the rest just fell into place eventually. I was blessed by friends again, with clothes and bedding, and special blankets.

We’ve started calling her by her new name that she will become when adopted sometime this year and Miss M has nicknamed baby D, Charlie. My sweet Charlie! A beautiful, sweet, smiley, adorable, curly-headed, 15 month old baby girl. She has enriched our lives more than I ever could have thought. It is the most beautiful thing to see Miss M dote on her baby and Dude love on his sweet baby who he insists is his. We always joke that the dude is mine and Miss M is hubbies, so dude thinks she is his.

Wordless Wednesday: Daddy's Girls

2012-01-18T15:43:00.002-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

Family Day

2012-01-08T21:01:00.003-05:00

Family Day, also known as Gotcha Day, Familyversary, and many other names. Whatever an adoptive family calls it, it is the special day where a baby comes into your life. It is most commonly celebrated in International and Foster Care adoptions where the birth day and the day the child comes into the family are usually not the same.

Miss M was 5 1/2 months on the day she came into our family. We didn't get to be there for her birth or when she was taken home by her first foster family or when she was moved from Charlotte to Raleigh to be with another foster family, but we are her forever family. 2 years ago, Miss M came home to us. I have been very nostalgic this year even more so than last year. Not sure why.

Last year we celebrated by having some of our best friends over for dinner and having a special dinner and cupcakes. This year, I knew it was coming but didn't have anything planned. It all came together though to make it a special day. We had breakfast with some of our friends and went to the park and played. Then we met up with our other friends and Miss M's bff for swimming. She loves to swim, so it was perfect. This afternoon she wanted cupcakes so tonight I baked cupcakes right before dinner and she had a cupcake after dinner. It wasn't anything over the top (and it really shouldn't be) just a simple celebration of our family.

The day Miss M came snow had been predicted all week. I was so worried that the snow would interrupt her move from her foster family to us. She was scheduled to come at 10:30 right after her visit with her bio mom. I cannot imagine how hard it had to have been for her foster mom to pack all her belongings and hand her off that morning. (We do sort of keep in touch and she knows she is doing well). That morning it was only lightly snowing and the Social Worker brought her in. We really didn't know anything about her, but as soon as I laid eyes on her, I fell in love. She was beautiful, huge round cheeks, beautiful expressive eyes, and she smiled such a big pretty smile. She was so bundled up. I couldn't wait to bring her in the house, unbundle her and hold her. She sat in my arms then daddy's arms while we sorted through the paperwork. Hubs and I just looked at each other after the Social Worker left like "They really just gave us a baby!" in shock. It did end up snowing that weekend, but thankfully held off until she was safe in our house.

Here is Miss M on that first day. I loved going back and looking at the pictures.

First Time in Bouncy Seat Day 1:

Big Brother proudly holding her Day 1:

Big brother and Miss M holding hands Day 1:

Her now BFF meeting her for the first time Day 2. Really bad pic of me and of course the dogs were enamored with the new baby:

The dude's K teacher coming over to meet Miss M Day 3 (he was then in 1st, but we kept/keep in touch and she was one of our references for foster care):

Call Two Years Ago

2012-01-05T10:25:00.000-05:00

Two years ago today I got the call from the Social Worker that would change our family forever. A 5 1/2 month old baby girl, 99% adoption. It didn't take us long to decide to say yes. I called Hubs first to tell him all about her. He didn't hesitate at all. I will never forget when he said "you can make the call." We would be her third foster family and they would only place her if we were willing to adopt. Of course we were! We were given the option to meet her first but we declined, there was nothing that meeting her could do to change our minds. I then got to start calling family and letting them know that a baby was coming to our home that week.
In a flurry of calls that day (Tuesday) and the next it was decided that she would be placed with us on Friday the 8th of January. It would be a very long exciting three days of thinking about her. I started gathering a few things for the baby, a crib, moving the room around, a few items of clothing (that all ended up having to be returned as we were told she was a petite little baby so I bought 6 months, she was already in 9-12 months when we got her). I also bought the carrier that I said would be the first thing I bought if we ever had another baby, an Ergo so I could carry her.
People at work joked and called it my three day pregnancy.
It is all still so surreal how it happened and how Miss M came into our lives forever.

Our First Visit

2011-12-28T14:41:00.005-05:00

In my last post about adoption plans I mentioned we had a visit scheduled for baby D’s mom and dad the day after Christmas. I had been worried about giving her parents my number but from the time we left court that day until Monday at 3:00 pm they had not called. They called Monday just before the visit to let me know they were on their way and to make sure I would still be there. We were getting ready to head out for the visit so I said I’d see them shortly.

We met at a local McDonald's that had a play area so that the older kids could run around and they could visit with the baby and that we could all eat and visit. Bio mom, bio dad, bio brother, his girl friend and her daughter came. Her daughter was 3 so it worked out really well because Miss M had a friend to play with. Dude had a friend with him as well, so that was nice he just played but did get to meet them. He still hasn’t really asked any questions, but I did explain to him that Bio Mom carried baby D in her tummy just like I carried him and that her Bio Dad is just like his dad. I really struggled to explain that. It is much easier to say the mom is the one who carried in tummy but how do you explain dad when he has very limited concept of where babies come from.

They brought some gifts for the three kids, so that my older two wouldn’t feel excluded and I was happily surprised that they thought of that. I thought it was very sweet and thoughtful.

Her bio dad has usually been very quiet and stand offish, letting bio mom take the lead. But, he reached out his arms and held her immediately and also fed her yogurt. He was still pretty quiet, but interacted with her quite nicely. Bio brother 2 (second oldest son of mom) really paid a lot of attention to her and wanted to hold her a lot. She happily shuffled between then three of them most of the visit, just touching base with me every once in a while. I am really happy that she felt secure enough to go to them and let them dote on her. I think maybe part of it is our comfort with them and her familiarity with them from the visits at social services.

I gave them each small presents, a frame with a picture and pictures. For Bio Mom I made a memory box with pictures of baby D mod podged onto it and pictures inside. I got dad a metal tin to keep pictures of the baby in. They got me a hat and scarf.

Bio Mom told me she was really happy with baby D and that she is smart and happy and beautiful and she is thankful that we are doing a good job with her. I feel like most days we are, but it is nice to hear it from her Bio Mom.

Overall, the visit went really well. I think everyone was at ease and I am confident the visits will likely continue. We talked about doing another visit at Easter. I think trying to schedule them close to holidays will make it easy. I do have more pictures that hadn't printed before I was leaving to the visit, so I have to decide if I meet again soon to give them to them or just wait. I kind of want to meet sooner as the prints that I have are a shot of them with her. We'll see.

Here is baby D and her older brother:

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T22:59:00.002-05:00

Wordless Wednesday - Pig Tail Hat

2011-12-14T10:29:00.002-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

Court This Week

2011-12-01T21:35:00.003-05:00

I know not many foster parents can say this regularly, but court was great. It was better than expected this week. It definitely had its sad moments, but I really feel we are moving forward with an open adoption so it doesn’t have to be entirely sad.

Court opened and immediately the judge called the four lawyers into her chambers. Everyone looked shocked like this doesn’t usually happen and why is this happening. I had that brief moment of fear that something was going wrong and they were going to take sweet baby D. I was afraid that something went wrong with the relinquishment. But, they came back and no one looked shell shocked. It seemed to be okay. There are four lawyers because there is one for DCS, one for the GAL, one for mom, and one for dad.

Mom and Dad did not need to be at court since they relinquished but I think they wanted to make sure things were okay. I looked at it like they needed a little more assurance that baby D was staying with us like they had decided and wanted.

The first thing the judge asked was about paternity and Dad did have a paternity test and he is her biological father. Then the State got to say what they prepared. They basically said that Mom and Dad were active in the case, attended visits, foster parents were active, the bio parents relinquished and that foster parents wanted to adopt. The GAL Lawyer asked if there were any concerns and Mom and Dad’s lawyers had no questions.

We got asked a few questions by the lawyers like how she was doing, any concerns, and any parameters set on visits, etc. The judge commented that we looked very happy.

The Judge spoke to the parents first and commended them on making sure their baby girl was taken care of, making the best decision for her, and realizing that they loved her so much they knew that maybe someone else needed to do the day-to-day care of their baby. The judge said the SW, GAL, foster parents, and parents showed the way the system should work with everyone working together.

I can’t say what made this case different, but everyone was engaged and looking out for baby D. She had a very proactive Social Worker, her GAL was always available and made sure she was spoken for, we had a great mediator, and we were involved. Bio parents were welcoming and involved. I just go back to the very first visit when dad walked in and his first words were “I am so grateful to you two for taking care of my baby”. I think it set the tone going forward. I always made sure that they were kept up-to-date, I liked sending pictures, and I liked writing notes on how she was doing and what she was doing.

Whether the goal is reunification or adoption, I think this is how it is supposed to work, a whole unit of people working together and looking out for the best interests of the child who can’t speak for themselves.

We set the first visit with her parents the day after Christmas. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I think it is going to be a good thing. We met mom and dad on Monday and set up the visit and at court Tuesday mom said she already took the bus by the location and she knows where it is. I got an address and contact number for mom (I hope it stays reliable, it is her mom’s number and the address is the shelter). I reluctantly gave them my number. I had meant to research getting a number to use for them, but I think it will be okay. I don’t think they will abuse it.

I struggle a little with what I will tell Miss M going forward as we don’t know her dad and her mom stopped showing for visits the visit before the final visit (after faithfully showing up for almost the entire year). I will have a few years before she questions why D has another mom and dad but she doesn’t. I just don’t want her hurt by it.

Am I ready?

2011-11-15T14:12:00.003-05:00

This Friday, me and the kids will fly to California to see my family. I am still a little in denial that I will be taking three kids through the airport on a plane, then a layover, and another plane all by myself. Yikes! Did I mention by myself? We are flying through Memphis on the way there and total travel time is about 8 1/2 hours not including getting to airport early, waiting and then getting bags on other end or driving to my dad's house. If I included all of that, I would estimate from door to door to be about 12 hours of travel time.

So the things I am most worried about are:

Security. No, not the actual security, but getting through it in one piece. Taking three kids shoes off, my shoes, off putting everything through the scanner, hoping a kid doesn't try to bolt or crawl away and then getting all our stuff and then getting our shoes back on. See, just typing it is making me exhausted. I can already anticipate the looks of annoyance from the person that will be standing behind me in the line.

Potty Time. Miss M is newly potty trained. I really just want to stick a pull up on her and tell her to pee in it, but that would be setting us back and probably wouldn't be a good thing in the long run. We traveled to Hawaii with the dude when he was freshly potty trained but there were two adults to shift potty duties between. I am sure Miss M will need to pee a billion times because peeing means freedom from the car seat on the plane. The dude has already volunteered to help me watch the girls, but he said no diapers or potty help. I am sure we will manage and maybe just in case I will bring two extra outfits and some pull ups just in case.

Packing for plane: The baby just turned one, so she isn't off bottles yet so I need to make sure she has bottles, then I need sippy cups for Miss M, snacks, entertainment, toys, clothes, car seats. I can just imagine I will look like a sherpa guide with all the crap I think I will need.

Packing in general: Three kids, myself, one week where the day time temp is 80's and night time temp is 30-40's. This means I think I will need a crap load of clothes to layer for the different temperatures. I think I am going to buy diapers, formula, etc. in California. If I pack the girls lightweight jackets I can probably minimize some stuff.

I usually feel really confident in traveling with the kid, but I actually have only ever flown by myself with the dude and we have done some serious traveling together. The only trips Miss M has gone on were with both me and hubs. I am dreading the travel, but I want to see my family so I will just go for it and usually my anticipation is much worse than what usually ends up happening.

I got the letter to travel with the baby, so at least all is well in that realm. Luckily, the social worker was really good about getting permission for her to travel. Also, her parents were excited about her getting to travel.

I went to the Target dollar spot and got some coloring activity books, a small magnetic drawing board, then got snacks, too. I am also bringing the iPad, DSi, iTouch, and phones so maybe I will have enough to entertain the kids on the flights and in the airport.

What are the best travel toys that you have used?

News on Baby D

2011-11-14T12:13:00.003-05:00

I got a call today from the social worker on Baby D's case. I wasn't surprised to see her name pop up as sometimes her parents will have a question for me while they are visiting. I had wrote a really long letter today for them because I had a lot of good things to report. She had her one year well visit, she had her first birthday, her first Halloween, she is cruising, and moving quickly with her crawling. I like to keep them updated with her status and they really appreciate it. I also sent (well, really the hubs sent) two sets of pictures, one for mom and one for dad. They last saw her on Halloween, the day before her first birthday.
What I was shocked to hear was that they wanted to talk visitation, they wanted to recall what exactly we had agreed to in mediation about visitation. It was 2-3 visits a year and quarterly update letters like what I do for visits now with pictures. They wanted to know this because today they decided to sign the conditional relinquishment. A conditional relinquishment in this case means, they only relinquish to us to adopt. If the adoption is not filed, then their rights are retained. I am still in shock, this means they have 7 days to change their mind. I am still very unsure on timelines and where things go from here, but my rough estimates are we are still several months away from the adoption decree. They have to staff the adoption in social services, we have to get finger printed again, we have to re-do our adoption home study, then we file and wait. The wait time right now is estimated at 3-6 months for decree from adoption filing. We got our decree for Miss M 8 weeks from filing, but that is really uncommon.
They set the final visit for November 28th which I realized I wondered why after we got off phone. It seems that visits could continue until the adoption is finalized, but maybe we will set our first open adoption visit around the holidays. In the coming days/weeks, we will figure it out. With Miss M, her termination was when she was around 8 1/2 months but her visitation continued until her first birthday. I guess it just means we need to work diligently on figuring out what this whole open adoption is about and make sure that we follow-through.
I still can't believe it.

An Outtake

2011-11-10T16:24:00.002-05:00

I was looking through our disc of pictures and found the cutest outtake that I can share of the three kids. Here is dude, baby looking down, and Miss M kinda smiling. We had over 200 pictures taken that day. I have found only two where the baby wasn't looking at the camera. She was quite the photogenic ham during the pictures despite having a cold that day.

Wordless Wednesday - Boy and his Dog

2011-11-09T18:28:00.001-05:00

Don't get much cuter...

2011-11-08T16:39:00.003-05:00

This was the year that I was actually organized and scheduled a photo shoot outdoors for the family in order to do Christmas Pictures. I scheduled it early enough in the year that we wouldn't have to cancel due to a freeze warning. So we went on October 24th to Duke Gardens and met with Annie of Red Bridge Photography and got some family pictures done. The day was beautiful and we got some great pictures of the family. They don't get much cuter than this:

The Dude:

The Chica1:

The Chica2:

Some days I feel like this, too. What greeted me this morning.

2011-10-26T15:38:00.001-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

The NC State Fair

2011-10-24T21:14:00.000-04:00

Against better judgment we went to the fair on a weekend. I dreaded the experience, but it was the only time we could go. I was sure it would be wall to wall crowded and just a mess. But, it actually turned out really well. Remember, we live in the Bible belt so we ventured to the fair at 930 am on a Sunday morning with the rest of the heathens.

We ate breakfast at the fair and it was so yummy, biscuits, eggs, grits, coffee. Miss M was too excited to eat, but dude and little lady ate most of the food. The baby ate half a biscuit, grits, and eggs. The dude ate every piece of egg that was on all of our plates. Miss M saw a clown and wasn’t afraid, even let the clown hold her hand and give her a sticker.

After breakfast we went to the rides and the kids loved the swing and a pirate ship. The two older ones went down a big slide. The dude rode this flying swing where he laid flat (he was afraid of this ride in years previous). It was then that Miss M wanted a snack. One of her favorite words, she asks for “snack” at least 50 times a day.

After a few rides we went to the petting zoo, the biggest hit with the two older kids. Baby napped during this. Miss M even fed the goats and a camel directly from her hand. Then, we went to the apple shack and got peeled, sliced, cored apples for the kids and a dumpling for us. Then got kettle corn (our routine) and headed to ride a few more rides. The dude went on two huge slides and then both girls got to ride the carousel and we were done. We did miss the stunt show that we watch every year and were kind of bummed about that. But we headed home about three hours after we arrived just as the crowds were piling in. Guess I would do the fair on a weekend again, but still would prefer a weekday so I could see some exhibits. We missed all of them.

The petting zoo:

The slide:

Random Post and Updates

2011-10-07T23:06:00.004-04:00

I forgot wordless Wednesday so I am going to start my post with a picture I took this week while out on a walk. The girls are big enough for the wagon and they are super cute riding in the wagon together, talking, playing, laughing, giggling. Purely magical.

The Wagon:

I actually have had the wagon since my mother-in-law bought it for the dude's first birthday. It got used a lot when he was younger then sat outside for the last few years until this year when I started using it again. The only thing I had to do was order new straps from Radio Flyer and it is as good as new. Love when toys and stuff can be passed down. I think it will get a lot of use this Fall and next Spring/Summer for little walks around the neighborhood and if I get real ambitious to the pool next summer, but that is a long walk.

The dude is doing good and is actually turning 8 this week. Pretty big deal! I still can't believe how big he is getting. This was the first year that he has realized he is younger than most/all of the kids in his class. He got mad when I put 8th Birthday Party on the invite. Said, "why'd you have to write that?" Um, I think because that is what you are turning. But, he is very excited about his upcoming party. Wondering if he will get presents on his actual birthday and for his party. I think we will do a small dinner/cake/presents on the actual day.

Baby D was sick this week and I took her to doctor only to realize that she had ruptured her ear drums and had a sinus infection. Her only symptoms were she was a little cranky Sunday night and Monday she had stuff oozing from her ear. She is a real trooper and never really complained. The doctor even pointed out that she is cutting her molars. I am surprised she is not complaining much because she really let us know when her first few teeth were coming in. Screeched, cried, gnawed non-stop. Of course, when you start teething at 3 1/2 months, I am sure it is pretty uncomfortable.

In big news for Miss M, she is wearing underwear (or panties as she calls them) starting this week. I am pretty impressed with how well she has done, too. On Monday she had one accident at lunch, I am sure she thought someone would steal her food at daycare if she left the table. Tuesday it was during outside time, she couldn't be bothered to finish peeing on the potty when she could be outside playing. Wednesday was at snack time and right after the picture above was taken. No accidents on Thursday or Friday. Still in diaper at nap and bed time, but I am getting closer to only have one in diapers vs. two. Her quote of the week "Mama, I big girl, go pee pee potty!"

Bad Hair Day

2011-10-02T21:22:00.002-04:00

I have been struggling with M’s hair a little lately. I think part of it, maybe feeling a little insecure. I ~~know~~ perceive that I am judged more as a white woman doing her hair. I am learning slowly but surely and some days we have really good hair days and it looks super cute and some days I struggle and it looks a bit rough. I need to experiment a little because I just don’t feel like she needs to rock the twists in pony tails all the time. I mean there is only so much you can do to make it look different, 5 pony tails with braids, 7 pony tails with twists, barrettes on the ends, no barrettes, scrunchies, colored bands, bows, no bows, etc. I want her to be able to wear it down, but I haven’t been able to master that yet though without a 30 minute detangling session afterwards.

I also want to make sure I am taking good care of it. So I read a lot about products and have spent a good bit experimenting with products. I know I got her conditioner down and I like the leave in I am using, but not sure if her shampoo is getting it clean enough while still helping and not doing any damage. Sometimes I only condition and sometimes I wash and condition (never washing more than once a week except this week which I will get to in a minute).

I read a lot of blogs on hair and follow one in particular pretty closely, Happy Girl Hair. Ironically, I think M’s hair is very similar to her one daughter and Baby D’s hair is very similar to the other daughter. I also recently started reading Chocolate Hair, Vanilla Care. I used the latter to learn a new style, rope twists and flat rope twists and decided to try it out.

I left M’s hair out yesterday knowing I was going to wash yesterday or today. It was pretty cute, but her dad just rolled his eyes. Last night I washed it, got all the stuff together and styled it. It took about 2 ½ hours and I was so proud of myself. It turned out pretty darn cute for my first try and I was excited that it would probably last 2-3 weeks. She was so good and patient through it all. I took one picture of it.

Her Hair:

Fast forward to this afternoon, we went to the pool but it was closed so we came back home and I decided to cook dinner. I let Miss M watch some TV and started cooking. The show was almost over (all 30 minutes of it) when I hear her say “Ouch Mama”. I rush over to the couch to find her comb stuck in her hair, her hair and face covered in hair grease, her hands covered in hair grease, nice little hand prints in grease on my couch (about 5 of them). Her hair style was ruined and that was just the start of it, she had used about 2/3 of the bottle of hair grease on her hair mostly.

I was so mad, not just at her, but at myself for leaving her hair stuff out. Who knew she could open the bottle. We finished last night around 11:30 and I was tired and didn’t want to mess putting it back in her room where the baby was sleeping. (Will never make that mistake again)

I had to wash her clothes and wash her hair four times and I didn’t even remotely get most of the grease out. It is so bad. I re-styled it tonight in larger rope twists but I think I will need to wash again soon. I just have no clue how to get it all out. Ugh! It is also not how I planned to spend my Sunday night before a busy week. The washing and re-styling probably took 2 hours.

I know people that don’t have a kid with hair to do won’t really understand how crushed I was when I saw what had happened.

Hubs says I should just keep taking her to get her hair braided but I don’t think that can be the only solution; I need to be able to fix it, too. I am learning, it just seems like it is such a steep learning curve. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, this is what I wanted a little girl to do her hair and dress up. It doesn’t mean it can’t also be a little stressful.

When I feel really bad I tell myself it took me almost 30 years to learn how to take care of my curls and I still have bad hair days, so I can’t expect myself to know everything right away. People love to be helpful and tell me, Miss D’s hair will be easier. I am not so sure, it will be different, maybe a little easier in the sense it is closer to mine and the dude’s. I think I will still need to learn some. I also don’t want to start the mindset that it is hard because I want her to love her hair (I LOVE her beautiful curls, I love how cute she looks in the water and bath with her curls circling her face). It isn’t hard, it is just different than what I am used to.

I didn’t take any pictures of the mess. At one point I did laugh to myself that I actually had something worthy to send in to Shit My Kids Ruined. I was just too caught up in trying to fix the situation.

Wordless wednesday - Sisters

2011-09-28T11:47:00.001-04:00

Love my girls! Sisters

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday - Festival

2011-09-21T10:47:00.002-04:00

Ice Cream:

Listening to Music, chilling in the stroller:

http://www.wordlesswednesday.com/newhome/

Wordless Wednesday - Back to being a Surfer Dude

2011-09-14T07:13:00.001-04:00

Wordless Wednesday - Back to being a Surfer Dude

Baby D News

2011-09-13T19:58:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago we were told that dad wanted to relinquish baby D to us. They set up a meeting for the week we were in Hilton Head so we couldn’t attend. I think it is just as well as dad didn’t show up. He had decided that he didn’t want to relinquish anymore. I never really got my hopes up. The same thing happened with Miss M. Relinquishment was going to happen then it didn’t.

What I don’t get is that he doesn’t want to take the parenting class that is part of his plan. Both of them were dropped from the first session for no-shows and now neither wants to re-enroll in the class. If it is part of the plan, they need to take the parenting class. If they don’t, one of three things can happen:
1. They ignore that progress hasn’t really been made and they delay Baby D’s status change from reunification to termination at next court date (I think this is unlikely)
2. They relinquish
3. It goes to Termination of Parental Rights (TPR).
I have serious doubts that mom will relinquish so even if he did, it wouldn’t really expedite anything. It is already September so getting a sooner court date is unlikely, though I think that is what the social worker is pushing for. It may have expedited it in the sense that mom rarely shows for visits, so they could get an emergency hearing to review status for no-show of visits.

I am still trying not to stress over it too much, we have now had her over 7 months. We are now just 2 ½ months away from the court date that seemed so long from the last court date. She is going to be 1 in 1 ½ months. Hard to believe. Most days I don’t even really think about the status of the case, her permanency, etc. I just go on about a VERY busy life of being a mom to three, working full-time, wife, etc. Of course, several vacations thrown in and now the dude playing flag football and back in school has helped really speed time up and make it seem like it is flying by.

In other Baby D news, she had her nine month appointment a month late at ten months and her most recent stats are: 16 pounds 3 ounces, 27.25 inches, 42.5 cm head circumference. Healthy 5th percentile for weight, 25th for length and 8th for head. She is my tiny doodlebug. She was pretty good for the appointment, loudly screamed her protest of the doctor looking in her ears. She has an earwax problem, so usually there is lots of cleaning involved. But the doctor at urgent care the weekend before had cleaned them out really good. She was so tired by the end of the visit that she slept through her one shot. That is a new one for me; usually I have the loud fits for those. She then slept through a trip to Wal-Mart and the way home. Sweetie pie!

Taggie Blanket - I made it!

2011-09-12T22:59:00.004-04:00

When we first started fostering Miss D, a group that I volunteer with gave me a monogrammed coordinating taggie blanket and burp cloth. She has loved this tag blanket to death. But, also Miss M takes it from her all.the.time. I have been meaning to dust off the machine for a while since I haven’t really sewn for a long time. I brought it out last week to make tutus (I only had to sew the elastic together) so I figured I needed to make this taggie sooner rather than later for Miss M. Oh don’t worry I bought enough fabric to make six, who knows what I will do with six or when I will have the time to make another 5. I have a problem when I walk in Joann’s Fabric. I buy fabric for all these great projects that usually don’t come to fruition. I still have fabric for the reusable sandwich bags I keep meaning to make.

Well, the taggie ended up being a pretty good bargain if I make at least two. They sell for around $15 for a small ten by ten. Miss M’s is sixteen by eighteen (not including ribbon) and I included this really, really cool flower embellishment.* All for a measly $20.04, 2 hours time, and 562 pin sticks on my fingers. I really think she will love it though. I did luck out and had a cool button Christie gave me from our tutu making session and my friend Kathy left her paisley ribbon for me because she said it is so me, yes I am a 70’s child and I love paisley.

I followed this tutorial and I got sidetracked looking at all the ribbon on that site. Mine doesn’t coordinate as much as that one, I just bought the fabric that was cute and on sale and the fleece was 50% off so I lucked up and I really like the purple tie-dye. As usual, I think I will be a lot faster the second time. I think I might need to invest in some finger protectors though before I make another.

I had been eyeing the taggies for sale on Pearhug Studio, so if you want one and aren’t motivated to make one, hers are really cute.

For the flower embellishment. I cut the extra fleece in three squares each progressively smaller. Then I cut those into circles with a wavy border. I then cut one small piece to look like the center of the flower. I stacked these and added a large button. I sewed these directly onto the fabric for the tag blanket. I think the flower is a really cool touch and Miss M will love it and stop stealing the babies blanket.

The finished blanket:

The finished blanket with the purple fleece showing:

The flower embellishment:

*Miss M is past the choking stage I probably wouldn’t include it if you had a much younger child. I did reinforce it super duper well, though.

Playgroup Beach Trip

2011-09-12T00:05:00.003-04:00

We went to Kure Beach with our playgroup on Saturday. There were 30 of us that went to the beach and it was so much fun. We ended up renting a place with our friends and then two other couples also spent the weekend. Most people just went down for the day. It is nice living close to the beach; we used to do 3-4 day trips a year when money was tight when the dude was a baby. We would get up, start driving around 8 be at the beach by ten a.m. and stay a few hours before heading back home. The Fort Fisher recreation area is nice because there is free parking, easy beach access, bathrooms, a snack bar (seasonal), picnic tables, and showers. We did this trip as a playgroup last year and had a lot of fun. Everyone wants to make it an annual trip.

It was communal parenting at its best. Everyone shared snacks, umbrellas, kept an eye on everyone’s kids and just had a great time.

The weather was beautiful and we spent 6 hours out on the beach Saturday. The waves were a little rough with Katia (the hurricane) being off shore, but the sun was shining and it wasn’t even too windy.

Of course, Miss M ate a lot of sand after seeing baby D eating it. They loved playing in the sand and getting tons of attention from the other adults and lots of the older kids, too.

One couple brought this huge tube and the kids had a blast jumping on the tube and riding the waves. They bounced off it and kept getting back on for more. The dud loved it, he was out in the water most of the day. The kids slept like champs that night.

Tubing in the Ocean (next to the boy in the blue rash top you can see the back of dude's head):

More Tubing:

Today we got up and got Britt’s Donuts. (I posted about a trip there before). They were so yummy, I can see why they are so famous. Here are my kids with two other families’ kids, one of them is Christie, a fellow blogger, new friend, and playgroup member who I also stole the pictures from since my camera cord is MIA. She also adopted from foster care.

Donuts (the best shot we could get with my friend Kim's three ages 7, 3, 7 months, Christie's two ages 5 and 7, and my three):

Wordless Wednesday Dude's Dream House

2011-08-31T08:36:00.000-04:00

Third Grade

2011-08-27T10:00:00.003-04:00

The dude started third grade this week. We had meet the teacher on Thursday and his teacher seems really nice. She engaged him in conversation and he shook her hand, so I got a good feeling. I then got good reports from the other three teachers I know at the school really well. I think it will be a good school year. He is not very eager to be back in school, told her he'd rather be at home. I see all these parents posting how excited their kids are and he's just not. But, he does excitedly tell me about his new friends and a little about his day, so I think it will be alright.
He looks so much older this year.

Third Grade:

Second Grade

First Grade

Kindergarten

More Hilton Head

2011-08-25T23:47:00.000-04:00

Sister Hugs in the ocean:

Attacking the ocean with her shovel:

Catch in the pool:

Nose Dives/Swimming in the pool:

Petting Zoo/Horse Stables:

Family Vacation Hilton Head

2011-08-25T23:32:00.000-04:00

Family Picture:

We spent the week in Hilton Head Island, SC for our family vacation. We rented a house in Sea Pines Resort. I love Sea Pines, it has beaches, pools, tennis, bike trails galore, petting zoo, shops, restaurants and of course the Salty Dog.

Trying to pack the car with a week’s worth of stuff, four kids*, two dogs, beach toys, stroller, pack and plays (2), etc proved to be a bit challenging for hubby. He had to get a canvas roof top carrier. He said he would upgrade to one of the plastic ones next time. He was sweaty and exhausted before we even left home at 8:15 am.

It is about a 4 hour car ride that we managed to turn into around 5 due to eating and bathroom stops. The kids did really well. Miss D decided that when we were all stopped to eat would not be the ideal time to drink her bottle so instead as soon as we got back on the road I had to wrangle my arm back to hold her bottle for her. The girls, dogs, sitter and I slept. The dude stayed awake playing PSP and DSi.

We got there before check-in and had some time to kill so we hit up Wally World for some ~~wine/beer~~ last minute necessities like sunscreen and snacks. Really to get hubby some flip flops cause he forgot his. They only cost a mere $95 by the time the six of us walked out of there.

We rented the house through a website called Homeaway which lets you search for vacation rentals by owners. They used a rental company to manage the house. The house was nice, clean, and spacious. Had some nice TVs, a wonderful sun room (that hubby spent a lot of time on), and the best part was our own pool. We rented some bikes and got them Saturday afternoon. Sea pines has so many bike trails that we probably rode at least 40 miles during our trip.

We spent the vacation riding bikes, visiting the petting zoo, going to the beach, eating, swimming in the pool, going to watch live music at salty Dog and a lot of relaxing. The kids enjoyed the trip and it was a nice break from work and daily stress.

Miss M's favorite parts were attacking the ocean, dancing, swimming, and getting her first ice cream cone. She also developed a love of Dora because we brought our PS3 set-up with Netflix.

Baby D's favorite parts were ~~eating~~ playing in the sand, dunking her head under water in the pool, and trying a bunch of new foods.

Dude's favorite parts were playing in the ocean (after the jellyfish trauma** wore off), playing catch in the pool, and riding bikes. He also loved the Cookie Monster ice cream at Salty Dog.

Miss M guarding her toys, sibling rivalry already. D wanted every toy she had:

Cooling off after the Jellyfish sting**:

Thumbs up, he is okay and ready to go in the ocean again:

Ice Cream Cone:

Jake the Salty Dog:

*We brought our wonderful babysitter to help ~~wrangle~~ entertain the kids.

**Dude and the babysitter got stung our first day out in the ocean. It was a bad day for jellyfish and they stung a bunch of people. Luckily, the life guards were prepared with tons of vinegar spray called Jellyfish Ash.

Wordless Wednesday More Bike

2011-08-24T22:14:00.002-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday Bike Blur

2011-08-17T23:23:00.001-04:00

Birthday Celebration

2011-07-30T21:00:00.002-04:00

We celebrated Miss M’s bday today. She is such a swimmer we decided to do a small party at our pool. She loved being in the water with her friends. She loved her cake, too. She was so excited when everyone sang “Happy Birthday to You” and she sang it the rest of the night.

Here she is with her birthday cake:

In the pool:

Snacks, the goldfish were scooped out with a fish net:

Getting ready to sing Happy Birthday, sitting with her cousin and brother:

Jello Aquariums with gummy fish*:

*They were such a cool idea, but it was hot as Hades outside so they melted. It was 100+ degrees, good thing we were at the pool and not just outside.

Our Timeline of Fostering

2011-07-28T08:19:00.002-04:00

We wanted to expand our family, we were dealing with infertility, we always talked about adoption and knew even if we hadn’t dealt with infertility that adoption was in our hearts. Hubby didn’t want to go out of the country, we both felt like a need would be better served here locally. Not to say it is the wrong way to go, it just wasn’t the way for us. My sister was adopted. I was there in the hospital when Jocie was just 8 hours old, I got to see her, hold her and I cried when I met her. She was so perfect and she was going home with us. I think because of Jocie, I always wanted to adopt, also.

We decided to go to a foster parent orientation in July of 2008. We started our MAPP classes shortly after that. MAPP classes were once a week in the evening for 9 weeks for three hours. It was the first time we consistently hired a baby sitter for C. I can’t say I learned a lot, but I do think they were valuable. Only one foster parent dropped out during the classes.

The two things I learned in that class that still stand out were:

1. We did a marbles exercise where we used different color marbles to represent different races, yellow for White, blue for Black, red for Asian, green for Hispanic, etc. Then we got to put a certain number of Marbles in for each time a statement was said and the color of the person represented in the statement. I.e. Put three marbles in for your neighbors, put two in for your school, put one in for your doctor, one for your dentist. At the end you look at your jar and see how colorful it is or isn’t. It is supposed to make you think how you would expand your “jar” if you had a child of a different color in your home.

2. We were told to close our eyes and imagine our neighborhood, our house, our favorite place to sit, our favorite things, and so on. This is to get you really comfortable in your thoughts and how comfortable you are in your house and with your stuff. Then we were told, “Imagine now that all of that is gone, all of the things that make you happy and comfortable are taken away”. Now imagine how a child feels, they were removed from all they know and taken to a stranger, to a strange place and these new people are so excited to see them, but they aren’t excited to see them because they want to be back home with their stuff, with their family, with the people they know. It was really heartbreaking and was supposed to make you realize that yes, you may be excited you got a placement, but temper that excitement because the kids will be suffering an emotional loss.

The classes ended in November and we filled out our mountain of paperwork, got our finger prints, and got approved to be sent off to the state to get approved as foster parents. It was a 60 business day review timeframe for the paperwork. Our SW for the MAPP classes came out to the house in early December and finished up all the paperwork to send our profile off to the state. She commented that we were the fastest to ever get everything done. Maybe she didn’t realize how excited we were, how much we wanted to add to our family. We wanted to adopt and through foster care was how we wanted to proceed. We got approved around March 2009, had a fire inspection and our house approved and then we sold our house and moved 20 minutes away (same county luckily) so we had to get our house re-inspected by the SW and a new fire inspection. It was August 6, 2009 that we had everything in place to get certified in the new house. (Ironically, it was August 2010 that Maya was adopted).

We then needed to get a Licensing Social Worker assigned to us, she came to visit us and then in October she went out on medical leave, she returned shortly in December before Christmas vacation. I was so ansty to get that first call, the one where we would have a child placed with us. It was our worker that I called on January 3 when I returned back to the office and she was returning back from Christmas break. I left a message (one that I had left almost every other week since September). Hi, I was just calling to see how things were going, etc. etc. etc. Trying not to sound too ~~stalkerish~~ eager. She called me back with a potential placement that afternoon. A little boy, free for adoption. She sent his paperwork over and I read all of it, Hubby read all of it. I was ready to say yes. I was hesitant, I wanted more information, there wasn’t more. I told her we needed to think about it overnight. I talked with my mother-in-law and my mom that night. I was pretty sure it wasn’t the right situation. I didn’t want to say no, though. Hubby and I went to lunch on Tuesday to discuss again (like we had been that whole night). We finally decided it wasn’t going to work. I slumped back to my desk not eager to make the call that we couldn’t. I got back to my desk and my Social Worker called. I apologized for not getting back to her sooner, that it wasn’t the right situation. She replied with a simple, “That’s okay, I was actually calling you about a little girl, 5 months old, we are 99% sure it will be adoption.” She then gave me a lot more information and the little girls Social Worker’s information. I told her I needed to call my husband, but that it sounded positive. I relayed the information to hubby and he simply said, “I think you can make the call.” What?!?! I get to decide. No, he meant I can make the call to the Social Worker to tell her yes.

I talked with the Social Worker and over the course of the next day we decided that we would get her on Friday after her bio-mom visit. We had been given the option of meeting her first and then deciding whether to take her or getting her sooner. I simply said I don’t need to meet her first, we want her, meeting her won’t change that. I couldn’t imagine saying no to a baby. We had information on her from birth, her medical history, mom’s prenatal care, etc. It was enough.

The first thing I bought was an Ergo carrier. I had told myself that if I was ever lucky enough to have another kid, I would get an Ergo carrier to carry them around in. The next and silly thing was a swim suit, yes a swim suit for a 5 month old. I managed to get a crib, get it put together, and set her room up with a crib and dresser set. We got rid of the full size bed we had in there since we didn’t know what age placement we would get. We were ready and I was walking on Cloud 9 all week.

Friday morning it started to snow a little and I was so worried the weather would delay me meeting her. Fortunately, it didn’t snow too bad Friday morning. She arrived at 10:30 am. I think she was the most prepared baby ever in foster care. She came with two huge plastic tubs of clothes, shoes, diaper, wipes, bottles, food, and formula. Along with two bags and her car seat. I had heard stories of kid’s coming with just the clothes on their back and nothing more. Miss M had everything we would need to get us through the weekend and more.

Here is Miss M in the first few hours she arrived with us:

Here she is sleeping in her crib in the first few hours:

Here is the Proud Big Brother that first day:

Story to be continued…

Toothless

2011-07-27T20:18:00.000-04:00

Toothless:

Race and Adoption

2011-07-26T21:12:00.002-04:00

In some ways I feel like we have it easier in the TRA (Trans-Racial Adoption) than others. C looks like a blend of us, M is brown like daddy, D is also brown like M and Daddy. Me and C are the only ones that don’t have a match in the family. Yet, in other ways it is still just as hard. I still have all the worries I read about on blogs of other trans-racial adopters. I worry do we have enough people in our lives that look like M and D? Do we have enough role models (or as Mama C calls them People of Power)?

There are a few things that I have sought out that I feel good about.

I started an interracial playgroup when C was 1. I did this for a few reasons, I wanted him to see other families that looked like us, other families that looked different, and make some friends of all different races. I am pretty happy with the long-term result. We made a lot of good friends and we continue to expand our circle and he gets to play with kids that are all different shades of tan/brown. I realized after we adopted Miss M that it was even more important that she also see other adopted kids in the playgroup (which we already had).

The girls’ pediatrician is black. I didn’t pick her because she was, we saw her once for a sick visit at our current large peds practice and loved her, not because of her skin color but just because she was that awesome. Also, the other pediatrician we see there was a foster parent and adopted two of his foster kids. How lucky is that, that we happened to stumble on these great resources?

One place where I tried and failed was joining an “African American Playgroup”. I still feel so disappointed at how I was excluded. I am glad that M wasn’t old enough to see us get slighted. We went to two of the play dates and I mistakenly thought I was welcome. When I asked to join their discussion/planning group on-line I was given the run-around and then finally told “it's just sticky... some folks would not express themselves freely if they saw an "outsider".” There it is I am an “outsider” and not welcome. I was and still am in shock. Aren’t we all just moms with a child of color? Doesn’t M deserve to have friends and be in a playgroup with kids that look like her? Maybe it is only about me and because I am white. Who knows? In the end I decided that it doesn’t matter. M has a best friend that is also adopted and we love their family. We see them a lot. M also has baby D who is only 15 months younger than her and what is better than a sister. So maybe she didn’t need it after all. I do worry as she gets older and makes friends in school that are also black, will she get teased because her mom is white. I hope not.

She has family that looks like her, her grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins. She has her daddy that looks like her. Her birthday party will be diverse. (Yes, that is one of my crazy worries). I can’t help but cast judgment when I see other TRA Families and see their pictures and their kid is the only kid of color at parties, at their own birthday party. I know it has to be hard, but we have to make an effort, right?

Birthday Girl

2011-07-25T18:34:00.001-04:00

Sweet Miss M is two! I can’t believe how fast time flies and that she is two already. My little pudgy cheeked baby is now full on big girl.

She can sing the Happy Birthday song, but I cannot get it on video, she just starts blowing raspberries when I try. She said “I two Happy Birthday Me!”

One Year:

Two Years Old:

I brought cupcakes into her class and she wore a Birthday Girl shirt, she loved the cupcake on it. She was so happy to have the cupcakes and I got her a Mickey Mouse balloon since she has started liking Mickey Mouse now.

All in all I think she had a good birthday.

Summer Camp

2011-07-13T21:07:00.000-04:00

Surfer Dude is in traditional school calendar because he is a magnet student. I love the year round calendar, but I love his magnet school more. So when the summer comes, I am challenged with finding him fun, unique, and cool camps. He loves sports, so a lot of the camps I choose do tend to be sports related. This summer I wanted to have him do at least 2-3 more academic ones. One huge challenge is that some of the camps are not very working parent friendly. How does a camp cost $245/week and end at 2:30. It boggles my mind.

This summer was the first time he didn’t do NC State Soccer. I am sure they didn’t notice me boycotting the camp, but they changed the stop time from 4:00 to 2:30. There was no way I was paying the money to then have to tweak our schedules all week to get him picked up at 2:30.

But, I found him some really cool camps, he did camp at an ice house, a sports center (that ran him so much I did have to pick him up early one day because his head/stomach hurt, which is code for tired), a drama camp where he put on a cool play called Stone Soup, and this week he is doing an academic camp at NC State. He will be there 11 hours a day, eat lunch and dinner there and switch classes. I am super excited. He is, too. He asked if next year he could be an “overnighter” and sign up for Lego robotics as his class next summer. Although he isn’t too happy that TV will be limited this week so he can get to bed at a decent time.

Here is my camper:

What do you do for summer camp, what has been a success and a failure?

Sisters

2011-07-10T20:40:00.001-04:00

I love the girls so much! I cannot begin to even describe the joy I get from watching Miss M read to Baby D or watch them interact. Now tonight, I wanted to separate them as Miss M sat on baby D for the third time or tried to cover her with the towel for the second time. But about 99% of the time, they have the sweetest interactions.

Yesterday I sat and watched them for probably about 15 minutes. Baby D was in the bouncer just bouncing away and Miss M pulled her music chair up to the bouncer and was “reading” from a book like she was a teacher. The funny thing was she was “reading” a klutz magnet and science book and showing Baby D all the pictures like she would totally be interested. It was super cute, though.

I put Baby D in the shopping cart with Miss M for the first time yesterday and Miss M could not have been any happier. She hugged her, patted her, talked to her, and smothered her. By the end of the trip, Baby D had enough, but I loved watching them play and laugh and smile and coo.

Here is Miss M “reading” to baby D, who just wanted to eat the book:

Here they are in the cart:

One reason

2011-07-06T17:35:00.002-04:00

One reason I love having a girl:

I painted Miss M's toes for the first time, she calls them her pretty pretties and she has to show everyone how cute they are.

Beach Trip

2011-06-29T11:30:00.000-04:00

We took the kids to the Myrtle Beach for Father’s Day weekend. Hubby grew up going to Myrtle Beach, SC and I started going there during my college years at NC State. The first trip I ever paid and took my mom/sister on was to Myrtle Beach when I graduated college. It was such a big deal to my mom that I spent some of my own money to do something for her. Hubby and I also met in Myrtle Beach Labor Day weekend 1999. Friends of his and mine all knew each other and organized a big beach trip where we rented two big condos and my co-worker invited me along. So we have taken the kids there a few times, too. C started going at just a few months old. It may not be our favorite beach (not sure which one would be) but it is definitely in the Top 10 for our family.

This was Baby D’s first time to the beach and she loved it. I think it made it nicer that she can now sit up, so she showed off those skills and ate a ton of sand and she loves the water. We spent a big portion of our time on the beach with me, Miss M, and Baby D just sitting in the waves. Hubby always digs the kids a little pool and they loved that.

Miss M loves the pool, the beach, the water. She got up one morning and went on the screened porch of the condo we rented and started saying “Pool! Pool! Pool!” She wanted to do nothing more than to be in the water non-stop.

C was so happy that he got to play catch on the beach, play in the waves and loved having other big kids at the pool to play with.

As with most of our typical beach vacations, we really didn’t do much except go to the beach, go to the pool, and cook. It is funny that we cook more on vacation than we do at home, but with both of us working, cooking becomes so rushed at home.

Here is Miss M swimming:

Here are the kids posing on the beach chairs:

New Baby

2011-06-07T17:08:00.000-04:00

We have a new baby. Well, she is now 7 months old. I can’t believe it. We decided after the adoption of Miss M, that we would foster and/or adopt again. I thought we might have to wait a while so we went back active mid-January. Well, January 31^st we got a call at ten a.m. about a 3 month old girl. We picked her up at 3:00 pm that day. It was the funniest thing to tell C that we got a baby on the way home from work. Her case is not as clear cut as Miss M. Miss M was 99% sure adoption from the first phone call and was a quick whirlwind of placement, Termination of Parental Rights, file adoption, adoption finalized in one day shy of 7 months. Baby D is still in limbo and will be in limbo for at least 5 ½ more months. I am so surprised at myself, I was such a ball of nerves with Miss M and it was all pretty clear-cut and fast and easy. This will be longer, less clear, more work, etc. But I just live day to day in the present knowing that today we have her, tomorrow we will probably still have her, next month she will probably still be here and most likely she will be spending her first birthday with us. After being nervous all last year and I was still nervous even after the adoption was finalized, I think my mind just said you can’t stress over what you can’t control. Now, don’t get me wrong I have a few moments of worry and anxiety, I can’t imagine us losing her, we love her, and we want her. But we might not get her. It will all depend on what the courts determine. We do know that they won’t review her case again until November. So as of right now, we have her until then. That is unless someone in her family comes forward and is found suitable to care for her.

Now about Baby D. She is a tiny little baby at 14 pounds. She is alert, loves to be held, super snuggly, and firmly attached to us. She is vocal, which is good and bad. Boy does she have a set of lungs on her. On the rare occasions she gets mad, everyone knows it. On the good side she “talks” all the time and it is super cute, she says geeee geeee and babababa and dadadadada all the time. She interacts when you talk to her. Her smile and her laugh light up the room. She smiles the most at C and Miss M. She has been a good sleeper from about 4 ½ months on. Both kids adore her so much. Miss M “reads” to her all the time and calls her day-do and baby. C dotes on her and holds her and calls her day-day bay-bay. He loves to help out with her and let her sit on the couch with him while he watches TV.

I like to say for the most part we live in the moment as a family of five. I always knew I wanted a big family and still love it and smile when I say The 5 of us. They are the most amazing kids and I feel fortunate each and every day that I am blessed with them, I love being their mom.

New About Me

2011-06-01T22:48:00.000-04:00

I know I don’t keep the blog nearly up-to-date as I would like. I started it as a way to let my family see pictures and really that is all it still is. I have met 1-2 other moms through blogs that may or may not read this. But, I thought I would still update my about me in case someone new stumbled in and wanted to know more about us.

I met DH in 1999 and we quickly became friends and then I moved away to Philly a few weeks later. I still had season tickets to NC State Football (man I hate that I gave up those awesome seats) and so I came down to NC a few times and DH and I slowly started dating, then we quickly moved on and he moved up to Philly in December of that year.

In 2001 we moved back to NC and bought a house in Holly Springs because we knew there were good job opportunities, housing was relatively cheap, and we wanted to be close to his family when we started a family. We bought our house in May 2001, got married in February 2002. We decided to start that family and quickly found out I had blocked tubes. I had surgery for that in November 2002 and we got pregnant with C in January 2003. C was and always will be my pride and joy, couldn’t have imagined loving someone as much I do him. He is such a great kid and can’t believe how fast he is growing.

We decided in 2005 that we wanted to have another kid and thought it would be super easy since the doctors said they fixed the problem and we had C. Boy, was I wrong. We spent the next 4 years trying every Infertility treatment possible. Clomid, IVF with ICSI and managed to get pregnant three times. All three times losing the babies. It was heart breaking to say the least.

We had always discussed adoption and Hubby really wanted to try the foster care system. We agreed easily on the plan, took our MAPP classes, then sold our Holly Springs home and moved to Raleigh, then finally got certified as foster parents. Miss M joined our family in January 2010 and was adopted in August 2010. She is such an amazingly smart, cute, sassy girl and so easy to love. We started fostering Miss D in Janurauy 2011 and who knows where that will go.

So ask away if you want to be nosy (I am nosy) and get to know more.

Tree

2010-12-23T11:29:00.003-05:00

Growing up, our tree was always a mish mash of homemade ornaments and special ornaments. Think Styrofoam bells with glitter. My mom has since graduated from that and has a fully coordinated tree with silvers and blues. Very, very pretty. I think those trees look great and so Martha Stewart.

But, my tree is a lot like the one we had growing up. Hubs always has to try and pick the biggest tree he can find. This was great when we had a two-story living room. One year our tree was 10 feet tall. This was also the year I realized that tree stands are rated for tree heights. Our tree came tumbling down the night after Christmas. I think it was in a tree stand rated 7-8 feet. We now have one rated 8-10 feet, but we have ten feet ceilings now so we need to limit our tree to 9 feet and below. This year I had to cut the top off to get the angel on.

Some of our special ornaments are a lighthouse that says NC 2001 the year we moved here and bought our house, one that says First Year as husband and wife 2002 from our old neighbors, a Baby’s First Christmas 2003, assorted ones C made, and now one that Miss M made. I also love the ones that have their pictures in them. This year my favorite ones are a Little Sister and a Big Brother, I saw them and had to get them for the kids. I just love that I have the two little kids this year and feel so complete. Christopher asked me “Mom, are you happy this year that we have M?” I said of course I am, so he asked “Would you still be happy if it was just me?” I explained to him that yes he is special and I am and always have been happy that I am his mommy, but part of me would have been sad if he didn’t have a little brother or sister to share his time with. He said he is happy that he has M.

We even have a few ornaments for Calvin, we are just missing one for Cuppy.

So here are some of our special ornaments:

And sitting atop our tree is our new angel this year. Beautiful.

What does your tree look like? What are your favorite ornaments?

Christmas in Apex 2010

2010-12-04T21:24:00.002-05:00

So once again I procrastinated with scheduling Christmas pictures (happened last year, too) and the photographers we wanted to use were booked. So I was left with few options when I had an “Aha” moment last night and remembered that Downtown Apex does Christmas pictures (a little 5 minute photo shoot) with Santa in front of an old fashioned fire truck and they take them high resolution and then give you the disc for $10. I stumbled on it last year. They also do a pancake breakfast.

Well, this year the line was 2 hours long so we missed the pancake breakfast. Bummer, but we got the pictures so I will be able to create Christmas cards. The pictures turned out really nice. The kids were amazingly good considering it was freezing cold and we stood outside in line for 45 minutes before we made it into the warm building. M cried as soon as I tried to put her on his lap and has qquite the expressions in the dozen images we got.

Since we missed the breakfast we decided to go to lunch and we hit Tyler’s Taproom. The server was awesome, the food was good and they give Wiki Sticks to the kids to play with during the meal. C was so happy and entertained. I definitely think we will go back. They customized his kid meal to noodles and grilled chicken and he was so happy.

Here are some of my favorite pictures.

M is not so sure of Santa, but C is smiling big for the camera:

Santa made her laugh:

A Family shot:

C telling Santa that he wanted a digital camera for Xmas: